


Headspace

by Lady_of_Rohan



Series: Joseb [7]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 23:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14389347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Rohan/pseuds/Lady_of_Rohan
Summary: "Nothing lasts forever" is a phrase the retired Detective Castellanos is all too familiar with.The sequel to my Joseb fic, Of Sound Mind.





	Headspace

**Author's Note:**

> By popular request, I've began working on the sequel to OSM. It's been over a year since I finished it, and I get asks frequently about continuing the story. It's something that I wanted to do for a long while, and I finally found the inspiration this spring to sit down and start getting it out. 
> 
> Haven't read OSM? You can check it out here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3810274
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this one as much as the last one! Thank you for supporting my works all these years! ♥

_Bliss_.  
  
Sebastian felt it. A feeling so long-lost, that the very air in his lungs was intoxicating, drug-like. It had taken years of agony for things to sort themselves out... not without a drink, or bullet spent, and another hellish journey into STEM, but his little one was saved. He and Myra had reconciled, and though the pain would always linger at the loss of his child's mother, his beloved wife, at least he had Lily. It was more than he could have asked for, and far more than he deserved.  
  
The happiest of families... father, daughter, and their adopted feline friend. Donning denim in their front yard, Sebastian chuckled as Lily swung the creature in her arms, the red ribbon vibrant around the cat's neck to match the one in her hair. The autumn air was crisp, the scent of freshly-fallen leaves that graced the ground, the last remnants of warmth before winter arrived.  
  
"Dad!" Lily bounced on the heels of her Mary-Janes as the cat gave a mew. "Can we take Ebony for a ride in the truck?"  
  
"Hrm, I dunno," he played, reaching to pet the top of the cat's head. Her black fur was soft, and he could feel that she was purring. At one time,  he might have thought they were bad luck, but the animal was growing on him.  
  
"Aww, come on, daddy!" Lily urged. While she had a whimsical flair, Sebastian was appreciative that his daughter enjoyed painting her nails and riding in his beloved truck equally. A tomboy, after his own heart.  
  
"Okay, okay, just a few miles," he said, though it was obvious that there was really no argument to begin with. For Lily, he'd do anything. "But then we gotta get home for dinner."  
  
"Ice cream with m &ms for dessert?"  
  
"You've got it, sweetheart."  
  
He opened the car door for her, letting Lily climb up in the passenger's side, as he fastened her seatbelt over her shoulders. She held Ebony in her arms protectively, the two of them ready for their afternoon ride as he gently closed the door.  
  
Sebastian got in the driver's seat, key in the ignition. His hands were on the steering wheel when he heard Lily's disapproving tone beside him.  
  
" _Dad_. Don't be a hypocrite."  
  
"Where'd you learn that word?"  His dark eyebrows rose as he glanced at her, and Lily merely smiled. Sharp. Like her mother.  
  
His own seat-belt clasped at Lily's urging. He adjusted the rear-view mirror, a fresh, clean-shaven visage staring back at him. Face lines, from stress and age, were apparent of course... but his joyful state of mind couldn't be denied.  
  
It had been a long time coming. Far too long...  
  
 As they started off down the road, classic rock ballads provided a soundtrack to their journey, father and daughter reunited. Lily nodded her head to the beat, even sang a few lyrics as Ebony was content to curl up in her lap.  
  
The roads were clear, the skies a cloudless blue as they drove for miles, nothing but corn fields and beautiful scenery as far as the eye could see. The windows were rolled down, tousling their hair with autumn promises.  
  
The countryside was a stark contrast to life back in Krimson, far more like the ranch he'd grown up on.  
  
No smoggy city streets. No KCPD. No murders or long nights on shift, no blood, no pain... no more missing out on rehearsals, and school meetings, and tucking Lily into bed. A new start. A new life, for the two of them. A chance for Sebastian to become the father, at last, that he'd always wanted to be, and raise his little girl to be kind, but tough-as-nails.  
  
Sebastian turned his head to regard Lily, his heart soaring, a single hand on the steering wheel as she beamed at him.  
  
And then everything went up in flames.  
  
He didn't see the black car enter seemingly out of nowhere, directly onto his path.  
  
The cat shrieked, and Lily screamed... a scream he'd heard before in his most dreadful nightmares as his Ford  swerved, tires screeching and metal twisting as the truck flipped. Over... and over... and over again until it came to a smoky halt. When his vision cleared, Sebastian could feel himself burning, from face to limbs, blood dripping into his eyes from where his head had smashed against the steering wheel. The air was thick with smoke, making him cough, further disorienting him. His legs were stuck, crushed beneath the crunched metal of the car, and his arm was badly broken. There was glass embedded painfully in his skin from where the window had shattered upon impact, and yet, his only concern was for his daughter.  
  
When he frantically looked to the passenger's seat, Lily was bloodied, mangled... but perfectly calm. Still. Her ribbon had come loose from her hair, the color of crimson that stained her pale features.  
  
The cat in her lap stared at him, very much alive, blood-red-eyes boring into his soul.  
  
"You couldn't save me, daddy..." she cried, "why couldn't you save me?"  
  
"Lily, baby... no. You're fine, everything's going to be... _fine_..."  
  
He reached out to comfort her, but everything erupted into a fiery hell. The car was completely engulfed in flames, no way out. Lily's face melted right before his eyes, the skin sliding hideously from her bones as lifeless eyesockets stared, and her mouth opened wide to scream his name like it was a curse.  
  
Sebastian yelled, his breath heaving as he struggled for air, as if he was resurfacing from drowning. Bolting upright, he found himself in a bed, beneath too-bright-lights. As he squinted at his surroundings, momentarily blinded, a familiar face took shape before his eyes as his vision slowly focused.  
  
Wayfarers, dark hair... frown lines etched into their pale visage.  
  
_Joseph._  
  
"Sebastian?! Oh... oh my god," his voice was one of sheer relief, though his eyes were probably just as wide and startled as his were. "You're awake!"  
  
The younger man, his partner, took his hand once he approached the bed... and it was then that Sebastian noticed the tubing that trailed from the crook of his elbow. Gaze following, it led from his arm to an IV stand.  
  
_A hospital._  
  
"Where the hell am I?" he demanded, damned ready to tug the IV out and make a run for it. "Beacon?!"  
  
"No, _no_... Seb, hey, it's okay." Joseph was squeezing his hand as he shook his head, his words gentle. "Just calm down... you're in the hospital. Our hospital. Krimson General."  
  
Sebastian stared off behind Joseph's shoulder, regarding his surroundings. He didn't seem to be lying to him, as it looked precisely how he remembered during Myra and Joseph's stays here. The room was small, and bare, typical of recovery rooms. The only decor was a painting of balloons upon the wall, and what appeared to be a pot of flowers on the bedside table. There was a curtain to his right, drawn for privacy, and he recognized the leather duffle bag on the nearby couch as Joseph's, near an abandoned cup of coffee.  
  
"Do you... remember anything?" Joseph held onto his hand, speaking tentatively.  
  
He thought about it, everything seeming a strange blur. All he remembered was...  
  
_His daughter._  
  
Jesus, _fuck_.  
  
"Joseph... where's Lily? Is she all right? The car crash..."  
  
Something unreadable passed over Joseph's features, his fair complexion looking paler beneath the fluorescent lighting. His grip went a bit tighter around Sebastian's hand, and he could feel how clammy he felt. Upon further inspection, now that he was more alert, he noticed how red and puffy Joseph's eyes looked... even behind his glasses.  
  
"Sebastian..." Joseph started, "I don't know how to tell you this but... Lily... she's not here. She... passed years ago. The fire, do you remember?"  
  
Nightmarish images rushed through his brain, both unfamiliar and as if they were being thrust forcefully into his head, the stuff of nightmares. His family abode up in flames... his own desperate screams as he inhaled smoke in an attempt to save their beloved daughter as he searched the burning building, before it was too late... and then, newspaper clippings. Myra collapsing into sobs at the funeral... endless empty glass bottles scattered around his workspace, and an ash tray upon his desk that overflowed.  
  
It completely contradicted everything he'd just lived through.  
  
"No... _no_..." Sebastian was shaking his head, which felt oddly detached from the rest of him. "It happened, Joseph... I was there. _Kidman_... and Mobius... STEM... and _Myra_. I went back. Lily is _fine_."  
  
Joseph's nose made something of a sniffling noise, despite the strength in his tone. "Seb, I... I need you to listen to me. All right? I'd rather it be me than the doctors..."  
  
Sebastian listened, lips parted, but no words came forth. A fist clenched, realizing that his right hand was bandaged up.  
  
His partner looked distraught, though he carried on calmly.  
  
"You... were in an accident a few days ago. A serious one... you hit your head. We didn't think you'd wake up... and..."  
  
Joseph seemed to trail off, no longer registering, as Sebastian reached his opposite hand to touch his head. He didn't care that the needle in his arm was prodding him uncomfortably as he examined the damage. Thick gauze covered the majority of his hairline, wrapped tightly around his skull. The world buzzing, he tuned back in.  
  
"...you swerved off the road... and... _god_ , Seb, they had to pry you out. Your car was totaled."  
  
"Was... anyone with me?" he ventured to ask, terrified to know the answer. Joseph seemed fine. At least that was something.  
  
"No. You... you'd been drinking. You weren't answering your phone." Joseph's shoulders were shaking, barely keeping it together. "Sebastian, if you knew how worried I was... when I got the call from the hospital..."  
  
Sebastian stared. He couldn't find it in his heart to comfort him. In his mind, another cruel trick, he had lost Lily all over again... and from the viewpoint of his hospital bad, harsh reality set in like a sack of bricks in his gut.  
  
Why was his mind so persistent to offer glimpses of the past, torturing him daily? He couldn't remember drinking so much, or what had happened to put him in the hospital, but he surmised the memories had something to do with it. Washing it away.  
  
It hadn't worked.  
  
Guilt crashed into him for doing such a thing to Joseph. He'd failed everyone... Lily, Myra...and now his partner, the one who'd stayed with him through it all...  
  
Things were supposed to get better, weren't they?  
  
Saying nothing, Sebastian noticed how Joseph's opposite hand was clutching the railing of the bed so tightly that his knuckles were sheet-white.  
  
"The doctors said there might be memory loss," he continued, after a few long moments, as Sebastian watched his Adam's apple shift as he swallowed hard. "But you remember me, right? You remember..."  
  
It was unspoken, but Sebastian heard it loud and clear.  
  
_Us._  
  
It wasn't the life he'd expected to wake up to again, surely not, and he prayed Joseph couldn't see the disappointment in his features. Still, he gave a brief reciprocated squeeze to Joseph's hand, as the other man breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"I remember, Joseph."  
  
But he wished he didn't.  
  
At that, Joseph gifted him with a smile. Tired, weary... but sincere.  
  
"I'm glad," he said. "I'm going to go get the doctor, all right? They'll want to check on you."  
  
Before he left his side, Joseph leaned to plant a kiss upon the back of Sebastian's hand as he gripped it, before letting him go. Seb wondered what he'd done to deserve such kindness. Clearly, drinking and nearly getting himself killed wasn't it.  
  
As Joseph disappeared behind the curtain, hearing the door open shortly after, Sebastian leaned forward in bed, cradling his pounding head in his hands. The monitors around him beeped rhythmically as a reminder, oddly loud in the startling quiet. The cords hooked up to him kept him tied down, a prisoner to his own deeds.  
  
He was in hell all over again.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This started out on a rather painful note... 
> 
> So, some questions, in order to maintain consistency, I have considered keeping it in Seb's POV to match Of Sound Mind. However, I've thought about maybe flipping between Joseph's POV at times. What do you think? 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!


End file.
